Sabishii Kokoro
by Ookami Tsubasawa
Summary: It's natural to want to be loved and we naturally feel more vulnerable and afraid when we are alone. She's tired of being alone, she wants to be wanted. She needs to be wanted. He was the first to hold his hand out to her, and that she will never forget.
1. Let Go

**A/N**: I know, "_another_ Hinata story?" but I couldn't get it out of my head D:**

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**Sabishii Kokoro**

_Lonely Hearts_

_-_

Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty.  
**Mother Teresa**

**-**

No one wants to be alone. Even from birth, we cry out for our mothers, for comfort and affection. It's a natural instinct that most people take for granted. But not her. It takes a true taste of loneliness to understand the importance of friendship.

She did have one friend, a loyal boy by the name of Aburame Shino. He had been an outcast when they were young because of his 'freaky' interest in insects. Through their loneliness they had found each other and didn't mind sitting together, seeking out the comfort of being wanted by another person.

Inuzuka Kiba had once been a friend of hers too, when his dog Akamaru had bounded over to her, the inquisitive young puppy taking a liking to her. He decided if his dog liked her, than she must be a decent enough person.

Sadly, when the hormones kicked in, he found the more scantily dressed girls more interesting than her and she saw less and less of him. He still talked to Shino, that male bond strong despite their differences, but as Hinata's self-esteem sank further she became distant from Kiba. That was four years ago.

She knew Shino wasn't with her because it was where he preferred to be. She knew he would much prefer being with Kiba and the large group of more popular people. It was natural, the desire to be liked. He was thought to be mysteriously sexy with his calm, cool ways.

It was loyalty. Loyalty and the knowledge of how it feels to have no one that made him sit with her at the deserted lunch table like he always did.

"You should eat something Hinata."

Hyuuga Hinata, heiress to a successful business and a complete and utter failure in practically everything. Even she was disgusted with herself.

"I… I'm f-f-fine… Shino-kun…" she said. Said? It was more of a pitiful whisper. She even stuttered, nervous of speaking. She wanted to be confident, yet just couldn't find it within herself. She barely spoke, deciding if she couldn't speak properly, she may as well not talk at all. Well, talk as little as possible at least.

"It's not healthy, I don't want you to end up like those girls that resemble stick insects," he said, pushing his circular sunglasses into a more comfortable position on the bridge of his nose.

"I'm j-just not h-hungry to-today," she managed to force out. She noticed his head tilt ever so slightly towards Kiba and the other popular kids and so said what she did everyday. "Go."

"I'm not leaving you here on your own."

"Y-you want to be with th-them… Go, I'll… I'll be f-fine…" she said, trying to put some strength behind those words, but was unable to find any. He hesitated, like he always did. Eventually after thinking it through for a few minutes he leaned forward slightly.

"Are you _sure_?"

Of course she wasn't. She didn't want to be left alone in a sea of groups, it intimidated her and made her feel incredibly depressed. But she remained silent, trying to force a small smile.

"Alright Hinata," he said rising to his feet with a soft sigh. He placed a hand on her shoulder as he was about to walk past. "You know where I am if you need me?"

A nod was his only response. She listened carefully, drowning out the rest of the students as Shino was greeted by Kiba.

"I don't understand it, why does he hang around with her?" she heard a girl from the group say. It stung, but she was used to it and told herself to ignore it. She was startled when a creak sounded next to her. Looking around a fierce blush covered her usually alabaster face.

He was beautiful to her. Sunny blonde hair in soft spikes, cerulean eyes that made the sky dull in comparison, a healthy golden tan and the most breath-taking smile she had ever seen.

Uzumaki Naruto was sitting on her table.

"Hey, you should really socialise more dattebayou!" He was charismatic, adorable and outgoing. He was also incredibly confident. He was her polar opposite and she was hopelessly attracted to him. "It's weird to mope about on your own. You could talk to Sakura-chan and Ino-chan about make-up and stuff, ne?" But sadly, despite his good points, he was incredibly dim.

_Hinata_ socialise with _Ino and Sakura?_

That was like telling two cats to be friendly to a mouse.

The boy was out of his mind.

"Give it up Naruto!" Sakura scoffed, flipping her bubblegum pink hair. "Some people just _don't_ fit in."

That's rich coming from her. Sakura used to be teased relentlessly over her large forehead. If Ino hadn't taken her under her wing she'd still be 'billboard-brow'. Naruto used to be disliked for his lack of intelligence, but his personality eventually won everyone round and now he was one of the most popular guys in the school. But perhaps that was due to his supposedly 'gorgeous body'. Hinata never really had the nerve to check.

Nonetheless, at his crush's call, Naruto obediently returned to the group, seeming to have forgotten her once again.

"Hey, isn't that your cousin, Neji?" she heard from a few tables away. She looked around, trying to be discreet, but as always, nothing escaped from the eyes of her cousin.

Hyuuga Neji, year above, apparently incredibly sexy, good at sports and oozes charm. Tall, long brown hair, well muscled, '_gorgeous'_ eyes (shame Hinata's similar eyes were considered freaky) and a 'super hot' smirk.

Seems to absolutely _loathe_ Hinata.

At the sight of her he sneered with disgust, the look he only reserved for her. Usually he was cool calm and collected, with the occasional smirk here and there.

They'd used to be inseparable when they were younger. She missed those times. But that was twelve years ago.

Catching the look her crush was sending to Hinata, Tenten smiled cheerily and waved. Hinata gave her an odd wary look before lifting her hand barely an inch of the table, to hesitantly wave back, but Tenten flipped her hand around to give the girl the finger, disgust and loathing smothered across her tanned face.

The laughter left an awful ring in her ears, and she decided it was time to leave before she found milk or juice poured over her head again. She stood quietly, trying not to attract attention, before rushing out of the cafeteria and into the deserted hall.

Quiet. It couldn't be considered pleasant due to the pang of loneliness as Hinata made her way past the lockers on either side.

It was stupid to get so upset over an everyday occurrence. It was even more stupid to cry over it. So why were the familiar tears pricking impatiently at her eyes?

She had nowhere to go and no one to turn to.

No one at home – rather no one at the house she lives in, would care in the slightest. They may despise her for it, but would not care.

And who was she to deny Shino of a decent social life? She was pretty sure he'd let her go in the same situation, so she decided that enough was enough. Shino should be with his friends, not babysitting her because of a little childhood bond.

It was time to let go.

But the pain of it! Her heart felt such a crippling pain that she let out a sharp gasp, crashing into a leaning position against the lockers. With all of her weak resistance wearing away, Hinata cried.


	2. Two's Company

**Sabishii Kokoro**

_Lonely Hearts_

_-_

"When so many are lonely as seem to be lonely, it would be inexcusably selfish to be lonely alone."

**Tennessee Williams**

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"Is there a problem, Hyuuga-san?"

She jumped like a startled rabbit and spun around to be greeted by the sight of a tie. Looking up, she caught sight of Hatake-sensei, her English teacher. She furiously shook her head, dark hair flying about her head. He raised an eyebrow seeing the tearstains on her cheeks.

"Shall we go take a seat in my classroom?"

"N-n-n-n—"

"I insist, Hyuuga-san."

And so there she was, sat on a desk at the front of the class while he leant back against his desk, not even a metre away. She'd tried to go to her seat at the back of the room, but he instructed her to sit on the desk.

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

She quickly shook her head side to side. He breathed heavily and slouched slightly. The sound was odd considering he had a surgeons mask on (there were plenty of colourful rumours around it).

"I may not be Kurenai-sensei, but I am a good listener," he said gently. If he remembered correctly, his colleague was awfully fond of this mousy little girl. Sadly, she'd left on maternity leave a few weeks ago, barely able to get through the door with her large bump.

Shame really, she was much better at these types of things than he was. The last time he tried to help Sakura nearly got him sacked and sued.

"_Why?! Why Kakashi-sensei?! Why doesn't Sasuke-kun love me?!"_

_"…"_

_"I mean, I'm pretty! I'm thin! Is it… Is it because I don't have big boobs, is that it?!"_

_"He's just a boy…"_

_"Just a boy? **Just** a boy?! How _dare_ you! Sasuke-kun is not '_just a boy'_!!"_

_"…" –sigh- _

He just hoped it wasn't periods or boys or anything stupid, he didn't have much patience when girls started bawling about such things. But Hinata was a sensible student, so he doubted it.

"Talk to me, Hyuuga-san. I won't judge you."

It seemed as though those were the four magic words.

"It…it's natural t-to wish to b-be loved i-is it not?"

"I suppose so," he replied, annoyed that it was about such a pointless subject but glad she hadn't gone into a hysterical fit.

"It…It's na-natural t-to wish for com… companionship, for f-f-friends, to… to not b-be alone…"

"You're lonely?" he asked surprised. Didn't she sit beside someone in his class? A boy… what was that quiet boy's name again? "What of Aburame-san?" He feared he'd said the wrong thing when her eyes welled up with tears again, a sad smile adorning her face.

"H-he has his own f-friends, I-I'm m-merely a b-burden," she said softly.

"Did he say something?" Kakashi asked sternly. Bullying was something he absolutely did _not_ tolerate.

"He didn't have to," her voice was so small she didn't even stutter and crystal tears ran races down her cheeks. "W-why w-would he w-want to sit alone with m-me the 'f-freaky girl', w-when he could b-be having f-fun with his f-friends?"

"Hyuuga-san…"

"I-it's ok! Ho-ho-honestly! I'm j-just being s-silly. S-sorry f-for wasting your t-time Ha-Hatake-sensei," she said, going to get off the desk and walk off but he placed a hand on her shoulder to stop her, disturbed by the flinch to his touch. She was either completely deprived of human touch for a very long time or beaten. He didn't know which one was worse. Maybe she was just jumpy, she did seem awfully stressed out.

"Hyuuga-san, it's ok to feel this way. It's completely natural," he said soothingly. "Teenagers are unbelievably harsh critics and each group is like a mini-army, most are so shallow they don't even look past what you wear."

To be honest, she didn't exactly look good in baggy black trousers (while almost all the girls wore skirts) and a shirt and jumper that looked about five sizes too big. She was quite pretty in a baby-faced way and it was a shame no one bothered to try and see that.

"Tell you what," it was a stupid idea, but if it would help it was surely worth a shot. "How about I be your friend hmm? I'm sure Kurenai-sensei would love to be your friend too. At least it would make school less dreadful and make sure you continue to attend classes, I can't have one of my best students missing can I?" he said gently.

"Y-you'll h-help m-me?" she hiccupped and brushed her tears away.

"Help you fit in? I guess I could try and advise you how to feel more comfortable. As long as you _promise_ not to change who you are as a person," he said, fixing her with a stern eye. She nodded, all attention directed on him. A pretty foreign experience unless you were Ibiki.

"H-h-hai!"

"Well, nurse Shizune and Anko-sensei could help you with your uniform," he said thoughtfully while Hinata paled slightly at the mention of the fierce Mitarashi-sensei. "And I suppose it will just take practice with your speech and learning to be confident, just try with smiling a little more and keeping eye-contact, that should be hard enough to begin with."

"H-hai!"

"Well then, lets go find nurse Shizune and Anko-sensei shall we?" he straightened up and headed towards the door.

"H-hai Hatake-sensei!"

"Hyuuga-san," he said turning around slightly so she could see his face, his eye crinkled up in what seemed to be a smile. "We're friends, so you can call me Kakashi-sensei, ok?"

"H-hai K-kakashi-sensei," she said shyly, a blush darkening her cheeks as she managed an honest smile.

Kakashi nodded, seemingly pleased. But couldn't help but wonder;

_What have I got myself in for?_


	3. Baby Steps

**Sabishii Kokoro**

_Lonely Hearts_

_'When we truly realise we are all alone is when we need others the most.'_

-**Ronald Anthony**

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"There you are Hinata-chan," Nurse Shizune chirped as she fixed the skirt to be perfectly straight. Hinata blushed and fidgeted at the attention, the clothes weren't tight, but she missed the safety and protection she felt with her old baggy clothes. She felt like she couldn't hide like this.

"Th... thank you..."

"She could have gone a size smaller," Mitarashi-sensei said waving a hand nonchalantly. "You got a nice figure Hyuuga, whatcha hiding it for?"

"Anko-san! Hinata-chan is _shy_!" Shizune scolded immediately as the young teacher scoffed.

"Pfft, shy shmy. Stick with me kid and you'll have balls bigger than any of those loud-mouthed, testosterone-filled maggots!"

"Anko-san!" Shizune snapped at seeing Hinata's appalled expression. Anko chuckled and after a moment, Hinata began to shyly giggle as well. Shizune attempted to look stern, but she couldn't hide the smile dangerously teetering on the corner of her lips.

Kakashi leant on the wall next to the infirmary, a small smile hidden behind his mask. Hinata had taken the first baby steps into finding herself. No doubt it was difficult to shed her comfort and protection in front of two strangers. She had promise.

"You look different today," Shino couldn't help but mention the next day as he scrutinised Hinata's long lost figure. Odd, she seemed to have transformed. After a pause in thought he realised she hadn't worn anything the correct size since she was quite young. It wasn't long after kindergarten that the baggy jumpers appeared.

"I-is... that b-bad?" she murmured fingers coming together to fidget nervously.

"Not bad," Shino stated. "Just different."

She nodded, the blush deepening along her cheeks. A few people had spared her a scrutinising glance, but most had ignored her. She was the shy geeky girl in the baggy jumpers, she was of no interest.

She adapted well enough. Nothing had really changed. She survived through her lessons as she always did, either by Shino's side or alone at the back, meekly replying to the teacher when prompted and otherwise scribbling notes furiously.

"Hyuuga-san," Kakashi greeted at the end of his class. "If you please would wait behind?"

She gulped and nodded. This was about her friendship thing right? Surely she wasn't in trouble? Or was her homework bad? Did she structure her essay wrong?

"Relax," he soothed sitting on the desk in front of her. His gaze was cool and unassuming, the left eye hidden by messy bangs. With less eyes on her it felt less intimidating.

"H-hai... K-K-Kakashi-s-sensei," she murmured, head bowed.

"A teaching assistant is going to be working here starting tomorrow," he informed her and she lifted her head to look at him puzzled. "She's here today to meet the teachers, a genius kid so she advanced early so isn't too much older than you. I think you should meet her."

"M-m-m-m-me?" Hinata squeaked, nerves being sent into overdrive. She couldn't do introductions! Her first impressions were appalling! In her horror she failed to realise the rapid paling of her face.

"Hinata?" Kakashi said concerned when she started to sway. It was known that Hinata had a problem with low blood pressure which could lead to fainting spells. She jumped when his hands landed on her shoulders. "It will be fine, I'll be there the whole time."

She nodded tearfully. She genuinely wanted to change, she did. That meant confronting her demons and facing her fears. She saw his cheek muscles rise as he smiled and felt slightly relieved. That's right, as long as Kakashi-sensei was there things wouldn't get out of hand.

"Is this the right room?"

Hinata all but toppled off her chair as the door was thrown open and a blonde woman strolled in.

"Ah, Temari-san," Kakashi said as the feisty woman invited herself in without so much as a knock. "This is Hyuuga Hinata, one of our top pupils."

Temari speedily walked over and thrust out her hand, a grin stretching across her face.

"Subaku Temari, Hinata-chan," she said oozing confidence from every pore. Her keen forest green eyes met the quivering lavender ones head on, demanding attention. Hinata shakily shook hands with the new staff, fretting that her hands were shaking, too cold, her grip too tight. "Nice to meet you."

"N-nice t-t-to m-meet y-you too," Hinata forced out, eyes downcast in self-consciousness immediately.

"Such low self-esteem," Temari remarked, eyebrows drawn. "You're a pretty girl with good grades, why are you a nervous wreck?"

"Hyuuga-san is very shy," Kakashi provided sternly.

"Even around your friends?" Temari questioned. The air thickened with tension as the silence dragged on painfully. Hinata willed the tears beyond showing, not wanting to embarrass herself in front of such a strong admirable woman. "Really?" Temari asked surprised. "My youngest brothers just the same, good looking, good grades, doesn't like people."

Despite the mix up (it was others who didn't like her rather than the other way around) she felt a warm light feeling bloom in her chest. Did this woman... did she in some way _understand_?

"You're a lot nicer than he is though, miserable bugger," Temari said grinning with good humour. Hinata smiled shyly back, liking this woman more by the second. "I'll introduce you to him sometime, I think he'd like you. Not my other brother though, the pervert."

"Yes, I'd rather Hinata-san was kept away from overly hormonal boys," Kakashi agreed and looked at her with a twinkle in his eye as she smiled.

"Hey, Hinata-chan let's have lunch together tomorrow, most of the teachers here are treating me like a kid," Temari said leaving no room for decline. "I'd rather sit with you than those old farts."

"I... I-I'd l-love to," she said cheeks flushed and eyes sparkling with joy.

"Excellent. You joining us old man?" Temari asked, scrutinising Kakashi carefully. He shrugged, wounded by the age comment. He was one of the youngest teachers there!

"No, I wouldn't want to intrude," he replied.

"Good," Temari decided. "Well, I have to meet with the principal about my duties. Don't forget tomorrow, Hinata-chan! I'll come find you!"

With a wave, Temari strolled out quickly in the same way as she came, heels clacking down the corridor and a loud scolding shout following to tell some boys messing about to watch where they were going.

"You like her?" Kakashi asked, seeing Hinata practically glowing with happiness.

"Y-yes!" Hinata cried happily. "A-and it's all thanks to you sensei!"

"I didn't make her like you," he corrected, pleased by her delight and the reduction of her stutter. Even with a little kindness her confidence grew. "Who knows? Maybe she'll become your most precious friend."

"Oh no sensei," Hinata said gently. "B-because of y-you I can start to better m-myself. For that y-you will always b-be the most precious of m-my f-friends."

He found himself oddly touched. He didn't have many friends himself with his aloof, lazy attitude and yet this girl held him in such high regard after such a simple act of kindness. He gently put a hand on her head and she ducked her face, a blush blossoming across her cheeks at the contact.

"Thank you, Hinata-san."


End file.
